A God Can Control Time

We all live with little gods that should be murdered.

I live as if I will never die, like I am in complete control of my foreseeable future. This ridiculous belief was my little god. A false belief that convinced me working longer and hustling harder would grant me all the wishes of my heart. In reality, this belief was blinding me from my true powers as a human living in time.

This writing is about how a book and a process helped me get the upper hand in defeating it. And hopefully, as you read you will find ideas to kill this little god of your own.

The Origin Story

My core false belief: All I have to do is exert enough effort to control my future and avoid pain.

In other words, if I do something today, I am guaranteed to get my desired outcome at a determined point in the future. This belief in my god-like ability comes from a deep desperate need for things to work out in the future.

Because right now…I am overwhelmed, not comfortable and struggling, therefore, all of this has to be worth something at some point. Right?

Honestly, take a look at my daily responsibilities

‍

To maintain this effort, it often means I have to wake up at 6am and work hard until midnight (with little to no breaks). This is why I have to believe my future will be assured if I just keep working harder…now.  Ultimately, all this effort serves my greatest mission: Provide a better life for my family.

The only cost is the fact that I constantly live at the edge of depression.

The ‘purposive’ man is always trying to secure a spurious and delusive immortality for his actions by pushing his interests in them forward into time. - John Maynard Keynes

Then I got my hands on this book.

Bottom Line Review:

“Four Thousand Weeks. Time Management for Mortals” by Oliver Burkeman.

The book is amazing. It is well written and really serves more as a philosophical review of time management more than a how to manual.

I thought that this book would give me some steps and the author really does try to offer concrete steps but this book wasn’t about action as much as an exercise of acceptance. The more you reconcile and accept hard truths shared in this book, the more you find yourself liberated from the chains of your unreasonable beliefs.

Personally, this book facilitated the climax of an internal battle in my own journey.

I went from the desperate need to succeed to getting worn out then feeling frustrated by my inability to change anything. This uphill climb ultimately bled into my identity and caused me to lose confidence in myself.

‍

Right at my breaking point, I read this book. Since then, I’ve struggled with the concepts and grieved some beliefs that I had to let go. I’ve since exited that battle with truths that make me a better person to my world and better towards myself. So, allow me to unpack that journey of how I realized that I am human an d I live in time.

I am human, I live in time.

This book centers around a concept called finitude which highlights the fact that….

“Our limited time isn’t just one among various things we have to cope with; rather, it’s the thing that defines us” - Martin Heidegger

This concept encourages the reader to realign their allegiances from a battle against time to walking alongside time.

How this has changed my life:

Personally, unhinging myself from battling time and walking alongside it meant I had to ask a few difficult questions.

• If who I am right now is as good as I will ever be, what would I spend my time on?

• What if my productivity is an act of avoidance?

• What if I had nothing to prove to my future self?

These questions shattered me for a while but I have been able to pick up the pieces and generate a list of powers bestowed to me as a human being living within time:

1. Mood First Productivity- how I get things done within my present moment
2. To decide is my true power
3. Community shapes me
4. Journey validates me

1. Mood First Productivity- how I get things done within my present moment

Let’s start with the obvious, I still have a huge list of items to get done every day. The effort here isn’t to be ignorant about my future and never set goals. NO!

Here was one of the most powerful suggestion made in the book:

There is an alternative: the unfashionable but powerful notion of letting time use you, approaching life not as an opportunity to implement your predetermined plans for success but as a matter of responding to the needs of your place and your moment in history.

The most granular and trackable unit to prompt action in our present moment is our mood and mental state.

Perhaps if we can build a system that reflexively helps us invest our effort given our current mood and mental space, it will allow our tasks to be parallel to our present moment.  This would remove our need to force our mood to match our goal.

How this has changed my life:

Every Monday, I start the week with an extended list of unresolved tasks and a full email inbox with new requests. In my state of overwhelm, I pulled up a simple 3 question app that assesses my mental and emotional state. The app then points me to the exact actions that best fit my mental state. Following my mental state feels easy because the tasks match my momentum. My only requirement is to be honest about how I feel at that moment.

Here is the app: https://bit.ly/3txALZF

Take it for a spin!

This idea is a passion project that I have been unpacking over the last year called Mood First Productivity (MFP) .

I write more detail about it here: https://bit.ly/3zllX2b

2. To decide is my true power

In the book, Oliver shares a powerful explanation of the word “decide”. He highlights the Latin word for “decide” which means “to cut off” and that the word shares the same base as words like homicide and suicide.

The word “decide” carries a weight of finality. As I walk through life and make decisions for what I will do, there is also an active unseen violent reality of deciding not to do everything else. Life can totally go in different directions but my decision creates finality in my present moment.

How this has changed my life:

Today, I decided to cancel an interview with a popular magazine in my industry. No regrets, no looking back. Why? Because I wanted to spend more time with my family.

Being aware of the power of my decisions lends contentment to my choices. Rather than regretting what I could have done, my choices and the awareness of them make me more confident in living with them.

“Any finite life—even the best one you could possibly imagine—is therefore a matter of ceaselessly waving goodbye to possibility.” - Oliver Burkeman

3. Community shapes me

If life isn't about how much I can get done and create for my future, then what is it about really? I agree with Oliver’s thoughts on the impact and the value of community and relationships.

Oliver highlights a study from Sweden that showed taking time off did not improve people’s mental wellbeing as much as national holidays that required entire family units or communities to take time off together. Shared time is better than personal time.

How this has changed my life:

Real living is connecting and taking risks with others. Relationships! Letting yourself get lost in the rhythms of community. I realized that I had to put way more into my relationships. When I die, one day, I will be remembered by my people, not my stuff.

4. Journey validates me

The key point that this book communicates is “tomorrow is not promised”. It forces the reader to rethink all effort with the assumption that tomorrow is not guaranteed.

All we have is our present moment.

How this has changed my life:

Last week, I had lunch with my 7 and 5-year-old sons. Jokes, they told me so many jokes. As we tossed our heads back and laughed, I realized these tiny moments matter more than the inheritance I am trying to amass for them. Regardless of the financial future I can provide them, their security will come from these moments adding up over time. Moments in the journey are more important than the final outcome.

Keeping dead gods dead- denying the seduction to go back.

I woke up this morning and didn’t feel sad or worried. For me, that is huge. That is what this process has given me. Instead of waiting for “one day” in the future, I give myself permission to be at peace. I feel peace NOW.

But let me be clear, dead gods can always be revived. All they require is worship. In other words, the day I become infatuated with a need to control my future…welcome back little god of hustle.

Here is the biggest thing that keeps me from worshiping at the altar of hustle: permission to be content. I just need to be glad with what I have. And I am.

I am glad that I can:

Actively chose to follow my mood to determine my tasks

Decide with no regrets

Be shaped by my community and

Let the moments in my journey be as significant as the outcome